THE FULL STORY OF . . .
Part 1: The Game
Nibble 1: Norre Gunnarson Worries His Parents. Not.
Troll's Gully was founded by Norre Gunnarson who, at 150 years old was starting to worry his parents.
Troll's Gully was founded by Norre Gunnarson who, at 150 years old was starting to worry his parents.
Not really. In truth, Norre's parents
had zero stress related to their son. They were perfectly fine with Norre choosing to not settle down and marry in his 100s, as would be the norm for a gnome. see box to the right for why----------->
They got a k
ick out of his stories of adventure with his not-quite-ready-to-settle-down-either gnome friends and they gnew that, in time, all thin gs would occur exactly as they should. Which is how the story of Troll's Gully came to be. Nibble 2: Boys will be Boys. Norre and his friends, when they were younger gnomes - 80s, 90s, early 100s, that kind of age, used to hike up to the mountains behind Gnome Valley. High above the valley floor, on the ridges and gullies of the Cascades, they would play all sorts of gnome games – games that had remarkable similarity to the games young humans play when they find themselves in the woods wi th nowhere they need to be for a while. Nibble 3: Gnome Scouts & Trolls. Norre’s favorite was Gnome Scouts and Trolls, which bears a remarkable resemblance to the human game of Cowboys and Indians. Unlike Cowboys and Indians, which is usually only played with humans (and perhaps a pet dog or two), Gnome Scouts and Trolls is a game that all the young woodland creatures enjoy (pretty much all woodland animals have a sincere disdain for trolls). Like gnomes, foxes and coyotes like the game the most. And the skunks are rather fond of it too. Squirrels, wood rats and chipmunks play their parts with gusto, but deer and turkeys stay away, and bears, well, bears are usually too busy eating as much as they can to find the time to exercise in such a frivolous way. Nibble 4: Norre Goes Slinking One night, Norre was slinking through the forest as stealthily as he could, which, even for a gnome, was pretty darn stealthily (remember, gnomes are night time creatures…so Gnome Scouts and Trolls is an evening game). Norre was looking for the pretend trolls that, on this |
Do Gnomes worry?
It's actually quite difficult to worry a gnome. Gnomes possess uncommon wisdom and patience, and also such a thorough understanding of the natural world that worrying simply makes no sense to them. Worry, in the opinion of gnomes, is a silly little habit in which only humans participate. Gnomes observe human worry with the same kind of quizzical wonder they have when they watch a dog chasing its tail around and around: with curious sympathy. Gnomes gnow worry is caused by a bored and unsettled mind – a mind that would do well with a bit more exercise, a bit more cheer and compassion, and perhaps a bit more spiced gin. There is another side to human worry that the gnomes observe. This side most similarly to a caged animal who bites and gnashes at the very creature who has come to free it – an animal out of its mind with fear. Similar to worry, gnomes have very little time for fear – how else do you think they have been able to live for 350+ years? A creature simply cannot imbibe in the kind of life-sucking behaviors as fear and worry and still live to a ripe old age of 350. Can't be done. "But what if what you’re worried about could hurt you? What if it will make your life worse? What if, heaven forbid, it kills you?” a human might exclaim to a gnome who is calmly explaining how silly worry or fear is. The gnome will carefully consider your emotional outburst. He'll probably move his gaze to some distant point on the horizon and, if you notice carefully, he'll sniff the air ever so smoothly, as if he were taking one deep, long breathe to fill his lungs. He'd be sniffing all right. Gnomes have an extremely keen ability to detect all kinds of olfactory sensations. It's been said, though we do not know this for certain, that gnomes always gnow the weather forecast. Accurately. Because of their ability to detect with their sophisticated noses the airstreams and windflows and temperatures above and below. Just imagine! Gnomes never have to wonder what to pack for a trip. They never need to plan for showers unless there will certainly be some. No wonder gnomes don't worry! Maybe if we humans had better noses we wouldn't either. So a gnome, after he sniffs the air in response to your exasperated question, has just gathered a great deal of information on you. With his sniff, he has determined if it’s boredom, or fear, or confusion behind your worry. He has determined how long that confusion, or boredom or fear has been festering between your ears and he's determined exactly where in the brain or body it originated. That might be useful information for humans…if the gnome were our psychotherapist. But he's not. So he just slowly returns his gaze to yours and shrugs. He's already answered your question. No need to dwell on it further. |
particular evening, were being played by three coyote brothers who were immersing themselves in the role by rolling in mud and leaves and hissing and grunting while pouncing on each other as they waited for the Gnome Scouts to find them.
Nibble 5: The Gully
Surprisingly, Norre never came upon the coyote brother trolls. Instead, he happened upon a gully. The gully was somewhat hidden with an overgrowth of elder and snowberry bushes, in between lodge pole pines. It was so hidden in fact, that when Norre accidentally tumbled to the bottom of it (because he lost his footing on a rock that slid down first. Tripping, falling or accidentally tumbling is a rather rare occurrence for surefooted gnomes).
At the bottom of the gully, Norre could only see a dappling of moonlight, almost completely hidden it was by the overgrowth above. Norre quickly noticed the skittering of the nighttime creatures - whispering to each other as they shared information about their most recent find of seeds and grubs and predators.
Nibble 6: Ugly, Dumb and Hurt.
But then, in the still air, Norre smelled something he didn't recognize. He took in a deep gnome breath and analyzed the odor. Fear was the first thing he smelled. Creature with four limbs, he smelled next. Ugly, and dumb, and...hurt? Yes, hurt. Norre smelled hurt. Well, if there is one thing that gnomes are trained to do from the very first day of their lives it is to respond to hurt. Norre looked up and around.
He didn't detect anything more at first. But then he did. In the moist dirt of the narrow gully, Norre smelled an odor he had only heard about from his elders. He gulped and wrinkled his nose. He rose to his feet, clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes. As he took another whiff, what he smelled came racing through his nostrils - more fear...more hurt…and THAT odor.
Nibble 7: Take a Deep Gulp. . .
Norre gnew what he was about to confront. He had learned a great deal from his father and mother’s stories and guidance, and he gnew he might get himself hurt. But he also gnew that with the fear and hurt present, he probably had the upper hand. Norre gnew he was about to come face to face with his very first REAL TROLL.
Listening carefully, Norre scanned under the bushes and shrubs. He leveled his gaze to the corners of the gully that were the darkest and shaded from moonlight. He spotted the troll. A little guy! Couldn't have been more than a year old. The baby troll peered from behind a thicket of bushes with big, saucy eyes (well, as big and saucy as beady little troll eyes can get) and a big, big, big, big, ugly red nose.
Nibble 8: Norre Lunges and is Disappointed.
To test his adversary (he was playing a Gnome Scout after all), Norre lunged toward the troll. The troll tried to skid backwards but let out a whimper instead.
"He's no adversary,” Norre thought, a bit disappointed but more relieved than anything else. Trolls can be awful beasts. They kidnap (trollnap, to be more precise), rob, steal, lie, cheat, spit, yell and generally cause extreme misery and sometimes pain and injury, not to mention EXTREME annoyance, to almost anyone they meet.
Nibble 5: The Gully
Surprisingly, Norre never came upon the coyote brother trolls. Instead, he happened upon a gully. The gully was somewhat hidden with an overgrowth of elder and snowberry bushes, in between lodge pole pines. It was so hidden in fact, that when Norre accidentally tumbled to the bottom of it (because he lost his footing on a rock that slid down first. Tripping, falling or accidentally tumbling is a rather rare occurrence for surefooted gnomes).
At the bottom of the gully, Norre could only see a dappling of moonlight, almost completely hidden it was by the overgrowth above. Norre quickly noticed the skittering of the nighttime creatures - whispering to each other as they shared information about their most recent find of seeds and grubs and predators.
Nibble 6: Ugly, Dumb and Hurt.
But then, in the still air, Norre smelled something he didn't recognize. He took in a deep gnome breath and analyzed the odor. Fear was the first thing he smelled. Creature with four limbs, he smelled next. Ugly, and dumb, and...hurt? Yes, hurt. Norre smelled hurt. Well, if there is one thing that gnomes are trained to do from the very first day of their lives it is to respond to hurt. Norre looked up and around.
He didn't detect anything more at first. But then he did. In the moist dirt of the narrow gully, Norre smelled an odor he had only heard about from his elders. He gulped and wrinkled his nose. He rose to his feet, clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes. As he took another whiff, what he smelled came racing through his nostrils - more fear...more hurt…and THAT odor.
Nibble 7: Take a Deep Gulp. . .
Norre gnew what he was about to confront. He had learned a great deal from his father and mother’s stories and guidance, and he gnew he might get himself hurt. But he also gnew that with the fear and hurt present, he probably had the upper hand. Norre gnew he was about to come face to face with his very first REAL TROLL.
Listening carefully, Norre scanned under the bushes and shrubs. He leveled his gaze to the corners of the gully that were the darkest and shaded from moonlight. He spotted the troll. A little guy! Couldn't have been more than a year old. The baby troll peered from behind a thicket of bushes with big, saucy eyes (well, as big and saucy as beady little troll eyes can get) and a big, big, big, big, ugly red nose.
Nibble 8: Norre Lunges and is Disappointed.
To test his adversary (he was playing a Gnome Scout after all), Norre lunged toward the troll. The troll tried to skid backwards but let out a whimper instead.
"He's no adversary,” Norre thought, a bit disappointed but more relieved than anything else. Trolls can be awful beasts. They kidnap (trollnap, to be more precise), rob, steal, lie, cheat, spit, yell and generally cause extreme misery and sometimes pain and injury, not to mention EXTREME annoyance, to almost anyone they meet.
Nibble 9: Coyote Brothers Bolt As soon as the coyote brothers found out there was a real, actual troll in the vicinity, they scampered off (chickens that coyotes are) leaving Norre and his two best friends, Peete and Pacco, to decide what to do next. Peete wanted to call it a night and leave the little troll in the gully to fend for himself. Pacco had never seen a troll, but he had heard enough stories to know that nothing much good came from contacting one. He was good with Peete’s plan. Nibble 10: Norre Wants Adventure Norre wasn’t. He wanted adventure. He knew someday he'd come face to face with a troll and, in his mind, today (or tonight, to be more exact) seemed to be that day. Besides, Norre reasoned with his pals, he was certain that no matter what happened, he'd be the victor. That troll, Norre reasoned, was no more than 1 or 2 years old…and he was scared and hurt! They had a responsibility to help him. Nibble 11: Peete & Pacco Rise to the Challenge After a bit of negotiating, Norre and Pacco descended back into the gully, while Peete stayed out of harms way, in case he needed to go for help. They found the little troll in the same position as before. When they got closer to him, they could see that he had been crying and that he was undernourished and his eyes, though they were small and probably could be considered beady, were wide with terror. The little troll was horribly afraid and very, very alone. Part 1I: The Rescue Nibble 12: Norre Touches the Troll Norre reached out to the troll, who leaned as far as he could away, but who couldn’t get out of Norre’s reach. Norre touched his skin. It was cold. The troll flinched, but Norre held his hand firmly on the little guy’s shoulder. Eventually, after a minute or two, the troll relaxed. Norre stepped closer and started his examination of the troll. “He’s got two broken legs,” Norre said to Pacco, who had begun to take out his medical pack from his tool belt. "And lots of welts on his arms and back. What happened to you, little man?" Norre asked gently looking |
What's it like to be Trollnapped?
Trolls love to kidnap kindly creatures and rob and torture them and lock them up in their nasty, stinky, garbage-strewn caves. Almost all gnomes are smart enough to eventually escape, but, oh, the misery of being stuck in one of those caves for even a few minutes, much less hours or days. The stench! That’s probably the worst part of being trollnapped, especially for sensitive-nosed gnomes. And the yelling. And the crowding. And the lying and stealing and hitting, kicking, pinching and spitting. And we’re not even talking about things that trolls do to the gnomes. The trolls are mostly doing those things to each other. Usually, if the gnome is lucky, the trolls lock the gnome in a small cage in the back of their cave and then promptly forget about him. Remember – trolls are really dumb. Remaining very quiet is usually the best defense for a gnome trapped in a troll cave. Every once in a while, a gnome is unlucky and the trolls are having a party and so there are several adult male trolls hanging around. That’s when things can get painful for a poor gnome. The trolls like to try to impress each other with their meanness and they’ll play party games using the gnome as their object of fun. Nevertheless, the most common type of torture gnomes deal with in troll caves is, by far, the worst. It’s the farting. Oh, the farting! The farting is horrible. It’s olfactory torture of the very highest degree. It’s loud and sputtering and so very frequent. There’s no getting away from a troll fart if you’re stuck in a troll cave. No matter where in the cave you hide, no matter how many layers of clothes, dirt and body parts you pile over your nose, the stench of troll farts permeate everything. You simply want to die when you smell a troll fart. You want to never take a breath again just to have the torture end. It’s that awful. And the horrible trolls think it’s great. It’s been said (though no one really knows for sure) that trolls actually use their farts to attract their mates. Can you imagine? Disgusting. If you do find yourself trapped in a troll cave while the trolls are farting (and laughing and cheering each other on for doing it), just hold your breathe as long as you can and breathe through your teeth with as much saliva in your mouth as you can generate. Then spit after you’ve inhaled to get that fart-trapping liquid out of your mouth. Then start the process over again by holding your breathe for as long as you can. A gnome can usually outlast a troll fart with two or three breathes at the most. Who knows how many human breathes it takes – no one has met a human who was willing to admit they had been trapped by a troll and farted on. Troll farts can actually cause nasal burns and swelling, sometimes even blisters. They also cause eyes to water and get puffy and bloodshot (which is probably why trolls have small, beady, but also watery, bloodshot eyes, as well as huge, ugly, swollen noses). However, because trolls are dumber than rocks, usually the torture they subject their captives to is not fatal (trolls are simply too dimwitted to do anything that well), but the ordeal is taxing and often causes injuries that take time to heal. |
into the troll's watering eyes. "What happened?"
Nibble 13: Norre Uses Telepathy
The troll couldn’t say anything. He just cried quietly, but in doing so he openned his mind for Norre to reach him telepathically. Gnomes, you see, have telepathic abilities. They can receive messages from far away and they can read emotions and minds of certain creatures, especially, if the creatures are willing to let the gnomes access their information.
Nibble 14: Norre Sees What Happened
As Norre looked into the little troll’s eyes, he began to see the images that repeated themselves over and over in the troll’s mind:
The little troll was one of several trolls in a litter. He was in his home cave with his mean mamma troll. The mamma troll kept hitting all the baby trolls, so the baby trolls were pushing and shoving each other to get away from the mamma troll. This little guy was the smallest, and the meekest, so he was the one closest to the mamma troll. He started to cry when she was hitting him as his brothers and sisters hid behind him. His crying made his brothers and sisters mad so they started calling him names and kicking and punching him. He was being pummeled from both sides.
Nibble 15: The Father Troll Gets Involved
After hearing the racket, the father troll came into the cave. He took one look at his family beating up on the baby troll and he scooped up the baby troll and took him outside, cursing and spitting at him while he stumbling away from the home. He yelled at the baby troll for not getting along with his mother and siblings and for not being strong and standing up for himself. He pinched him and bit him and screamed at him about what an embarrassment he was to the clan. The baby troll just flinched and cried, bewildered as to what he had done to deserve such horrible treatment.
Nibble 16: Into The Gully
After the father had walked for what seemed a very long time with the baby troll slumped over his shoulder, he came to a steep, dark gully and tossed his youngest baby troll into it. The fall broke both the baby troll's legs. The father troll grunted, farted and stumbled away.
The images in the little troll’s mind went black after that. He stared up at Norre with his saucer eyes, wondering if Norre was going to hit him now too, now that he knew how weak and meek he was. Norre instead shook his head kindly and cooed, “There, there, little guy. You’re safe with us. We won’t hurt you. You’ll be okay.”
Nibble 17: Pacco & Norre Prepare Their Patient
Pacco and Norre made quick work of setting the troll’s legs, applying some (slightly magic) medicinal cream to both legs, the welts and also some just above the little troll’s heart to help him heal his pain, fear and sadness. They prepared quick casts from sticks and twine, then fashioned a stretcher and lifted the troll onto it.
“Peete! Are you still there?!” Norre called to the top of the gully.
“Yes!” replied Peete. “How’s it going down there?”
“Good,” replied Norre, “We need an airlift to bring this guy home.”
Nibble 18: An Airlift Arrives
Peete whistled a melodic, string of notes into the darkness. Immediately, two owls hooted back and within a minute, the owls were at the stretcher’s side.
“Hi there, Fred & Ferdinand,” Norre greeted. “Would you mind airlifting this injured troll to town? You can take him to my house.”
Fred and Ferdinand, turned their heads to look at the injured troll. Then they turned their heads back to Norre. They did it twice. “Are you sure?” Fred asked, “He’s a troll, you know.” Ferdinand hooted beside him.
“Yes, of course I know he’s a troll.” He’s also clearly an abandoned baby. He’s been through a lot of harm and I am a gnome. I can help him. Which means I should.”
Norre paused to look at his buddy Pacco, “That’s just how we gnomes roll,” Pacco said, as he shrugged his shoulders. Norre smiled at Pacco, who smiled back.
Nibble 19: Into The Night Sky
“Alright then. Here we go!” said Fred and he and Ferdinand picked up the ends of the stretcher in their claws and lifted it into the night sky.
“Thank you Fred & Ferdinand!” Norre called out, while he and Pacco scrambled to the top of the gully to join Peete. All three broke into a sprint, with the hope of getting to Norre’s house before their patient arrived.
Nibble 20: Late Night Guests at the Gunnarson Home
At Norre’s house, there was quite a bit of commotion. Norre’s mother, Mary, opened the door to find two owls and a wounded troll outside. The first thing out of her mouth was, “Oh, goodness, what has Norre been up to?!” The second thing out of her mouth was, “Alexander! You’re gonna want to see this!” as she called to her husband.
The three boys arrived at the Gunnarson home just about the same time Peete and Pacco’s parents arrived too. Mary and Alexander had already finished their medical examination of the injured troll, who shared his memories telepathically with them too. They were preparing a guest bed adjacent to the family great room and Mary had cleaned the troll up and tucked him in, after feeding him bread and porridge, which he lapped up quickly (and messily). Alexander was carving the baby crutches from wood, when the troll fell fast asleep, snoring gently, but not farting (because Mary, wisely, had used a bit of magic to take care of that problem).
Nibble 21: Finally Quiet
After the three boys had regaled their amused (and proud) parents with their tale of adventure for the night, Pacco and Peete and their parents left the Gunnarson house. For the 1st time since the troll arrived, the house was finally quiet.
After a long stretch of silence, Alexander looked up from his whittling, “So, son,” he said, leveling his gaze at Norre, “What’s your plan?” Norre didn’t respond immediately. He knew in his heart what he wanted to do. It took him a while to say it.
Nibble 22: Norre Makes a Choice
“I need to keep him.” Norre finally said. Alexander did not immediately respond, but instead slowly whittled away at the crutch.
After what seemed a very long time, but was probably only a half hour or so, Norre’s father asked, “Where are you going to keep him, son?” He had looked up from his whittling long enough to ask the question looking directly at Norre, but then he bowed his head and returned to his work, patiently waiting for an answer.
“Uh…” Norre began. “I guess I thought I’d keep him here?” He answered, clearly unsure of his response.
“Nope,” said his father, calmly, again not looking up from his whittling.
“Okay…” Norre responded slowly, even more unsure of himself. “Umm...I guess I’ll keep him...at my own place?” the last three words spoken in such an increasing pitch that Norre’s father had to hold back chuckling at his son’s nervousness.
“Yup. You’re going to keep him at your own place,” his father said as he finally put down the wood and knife and steadily gazed into his son’s eyes. “It’s time for you to move out on your own, Norre. You're finally ready. Congratulations,” he said warmly as he stepped over to where his son was sitting at the table. “Congratulations. I’m proud of you.” He smiled and the two emb raced.
Nibble 23: Norre Gets His Own Place
And that’s how Norre Gunnarson came to not only FINALLY move out of his parents house, but to also become an adoptive father. Soon after the decision was made, Norre and his father began making plans for Norre’s new home.
Nibble 13: Norre Uses Telepathy
The troll couldn’t say anything. He just cried quietly, but in doing so he openned his mind for Norre to reach him telepathically. Gnomes, you see, have telepathic abilities. They can receive messages from far away and they can read emotions and minds of certain creatures, especially, if the creatures are willing to let the gnomes access their information.
Nibble 14: Norre Sees What Happened
As Norre looked into the little troll’s eyes, he began to see the images that repeated themselves over and over in the troll’s mind:
The little troll was one of several trolls in a litter. He was in his home cave with his mean mamma troll. The mamma troll kept hitting all the baby trolls, so the baby trolls were pushing and shoving each other to get away from the mamma troll. This little guy was the smallest, and the meekest, so he was the one closest to the mamma troll. He started to cry when she was hitting him as his brothers and sisters hid behind him. His crying made his brothers and sisters mad so they started calling him names and kicking and punching him. He was being pummeled from both sides.
Nibble 15: The Father Troll Gets Involved
After hearing the racket, the father troll came into the cave. He took one look at his family beating up on the baby troll and he scooped up the baby troll and took him outside, cursing and spitting at him while he stumbling away from the home. He yelled at the baby troll for not getting along with his mother and siblings and for not being strong and standing up for himself. He pinched him and bit him and screamed at him about what an embarrassment he was to the clan. The baby troll just flinched and cried, bewildered as to what he had done to deserve such horrible treatment.
Nibble 16: Into The Gully
After the father had walked for what seemed a very long time with the baby troll slumped over his shoulder, he came to a steep, dark gully and tossed his youngest baby troll into it. The fall broke both the baby troll's legs. The father troll grunted, farted and stumbled away.
The images in the little troll’s mind went black after that. He stared up at Norre with his saucer eyes, wondering if Norre was going to hit him now too, now that he knew how weak and meek he was. Norre instead shook his head kindly and cooed, “There, there, little guy. You’re safe with us. We won’t hurt you. You’ll be okay.”
Nibble 17: Pacco & Norre Prepare Their Patient
Pacco and Norre made quick work of setting the troll’s legs, applying some (slightly magic) medicinal cream to both legs, the welts and also some just above the little troll’s heart to help him heal his pain, fear and sadness. They prepared quick casts from sticks and twine, then fashioned a stretcher and lifted the troll onto it.
“Peete! Are you still there?!” Norre called to the top of the gully.
“Yes!” replied Peete. “How’s it going down there?”
“Good,” replied Norre, “We need an airlift to bring this guy home.”
Nibble 18: An Airlift Arrives
Peete whistled a melodic, string of notes into the darkness. Immediately, two owls hooted back and within a minute, the owls were at the stretcher’s side.
“Hi there, Fred & Ferdinand,” Norre greeted. “Would you mind airlifting this injured troll to town? You can take him to my house.”
Fred and Ferdinand, turned their heads to look at the injured troll. Then they turned their heads back to Norre. They did it twice. “Are you sure?” Fred asked, “He’s a troll, you know.” Ferdinand hooted beside him.
“Yes, of course I know he’s a troll.” He’s also clearly an abandoned baby. He’s been through a lot of harm and I am a gnome. I can help him. Which means I should.”
Norre paused to look at his buddy Pacco, “That’s just how we gnomes roll,” Pacco said, as he shrugged his shoulders. Norre smiled at Pacco, who smiled back.
Nibble 19: Into The Night Sky
“Alright then. Here we go!” said Fred and he and Ferdinand picked up the ends of the stretcher in their claws and lifted it into the night sky.
“Thank you Fred & Ferdinand!” Norre called out, while he and Pacco scrambled to the top of the gully to join Peete. All three broke into a sprint, with the hope of getting to Norre’s house before their patient arrived.
Nibble 20: Late Night Guests at the Gunnarson Home
At Norre’s house, there was quite a bit of commotion. Norre’s mother, Mary, opened the door to find two owls and a wounded troll outside. The first thing out of her mouth was, “Oh, goodness, what has Norre been up to?!” The second thing out of her mouth was, “Alexander! You’re gonna want to see this!” as she called to her husband.
The three boys arrived at the Gunnarson home just about the same time Peete and Pacco’s parents arrived too. Mary and Alexander had already finished their medical examination of the injured troll, who shared his memories telepathically with them too. They were preparing a guest bed adjacent to the family great room and Mary had cleaned the troll up and tucked him in, after feeding him bread and porridge, which he lapped up quickly (and messily). Alexander was carving the baby crutches from wood, when the troll fell fast asleep, snoring gently, but not farting (because Mary, wisely, had used a bit of magic to take care of that problem).
Nibble 21: Finally Quiet
After the three boys had regaled their amused (and proud) parents with their tale of adventure for the night, Pacco and Peete and their parents left the Gunnarson house. For the 1st time since the troll arrived, the house was finally quiet.
After a long stretch of silence, Alexander looked up from his whittling, “So, son,” he said, leveling his gaze at Norre, “What’s your plan?” Norre didn’t respond immediately. He knew in his heart what he wanted to do. It took him a while to say it.
Nibble 22: Norre Makes a Choice
“I need to keep him.” Norre finally said. Alexander did not immediately respond, but instead slowly whittled away at the crutch.
After what seemed a very long time, but was probably only a half hour or so, Norre’s father asked, “Where are you going to keep him, son?” He had looked up from his whittling long enough to ask the question looking directly at Norre, but then he bowed his head and returned to his work, patiently waiting for an answer.
“Uh…” Norre began. “I guess I thought I’d keep him here?” He answered, clearly unsure of his response.
“Nope,” said his father, calmly, again not looking up from his whittling.
“Okay…” Norre responded slowly, even more unsure of himself. “Umm...I guess I’ll keep him...at my own place?” the last three words spoken in such an increasing pitch that Norre’s father had to hold back chuckling at his son’s nervousness.
“Yup. You’re going to keep him at your own place,” his father said as he finally put down the wood and knife and steadily gazed into his son’s eyes. “It’s time for you to move out on your own, Norre. You're finally ready. Congratulations,” he said warmly as he stepped over to where his son was sitting at the table. “Congratulations. I’m proud of you.” He smiled and the two emb raced.
Nibble 23: Norre Gets His Own Place
And that’s how Norre Gunnarson came to not only FINALLY move out of his parents house, but to also become an adoptive father. Soon after the decision was made, Norre and his father began making plans for Norre’s new home.
By the time the baby troll was healed, he and Norre were able to move into their new abode. It was highly customized (all gnome homes are highly customized, but this one was even more so) in order to accommodate the troll who would, within 2 years, grow to be at least 2 feet tall (4 times the size of an average gnome). |
Trolls Come In All Sizes
Trolls come in all sizes. Their common characteristics are beady little eyes, big, fat ugly noses, clubish feet, mangy hair and whiskers, long, dirty fingernails, and a rotund, slovenly manner that seems to go perfectly with their dumb-as-a-rock intellect. In some parts of the world (particularly in Russia, the mountains of China, and Siberia) there are trolls who reach 5 feet tall. Every once in a while, a troll is born with an adequate amount of intellect which makes that troll slightly more successful in life than his or her brethren. But for the most part, trolls are incredibly stupid and ugly and average between 1 and 3 feet tall. The particular type of trolls who settled in the Pacific region of North America were of the two foot, dimwitted variety. |
Part 1II: Fatherhood & Usefulness
Nibble 25: Norre Embraces Fatherhood
When Norre and the baby troll moved out of his parent’s comfortable, convenient home, Norre was more than a little nervous. His friends Peete and Pacco thought he was crazy and much of the Gnome Valley thought he was making a strange and difficult decision. His attractiveness to the young female gnomes of the area took a deep dive...for a while.
However, Norre never once questioned his decision to take the baby troll in as his son. Neither did his parents. His sister laughed and laughed when she heard the news, then said, “Oh.” When she found out it was actually true.
Nibble 26: The Gnome Valley Embraces Norre & His Son
Eventually, with enough time, the whole town came to accept the young father and his son the troll with the same gnome warmth and kindness they show all good creatures. In fact, after enough training, the little troll became so well behaved and learned how to care for himself in a clean and orderly manner, that he became a source of pride for the Gnome Valley (not every creature who has tried to save a baby troll from an ugly fate has had as much success as Norre and his family have). In fact, after enough time passed, that little baby troll became a bit of a chick magnet for his once-again-popular bachelor father (not that Norre needed any help in that department).
Nibble 27: Oak Becomes a Celebrity
Although the troll, who Norre named Oak, did not have a very strong intellect, through calm and patient training, and the structuring of his world with simple, routine tasks, Oak was able to contribute to society just as much as anyone else in town. In fact, he became a bit of a celebrity.
Which is how Norre finally decided on his Usefulness: As soon as he and Oak moved out of his parents home, Norre realized he had a child to care for and that he’d need to settle down and pursue his Usefulness with more purpose. Pacco and Peete were rather bummed to hear about their friend’s newfound sensibilities and they stayed up late one morning with Norre (at Norre’s house after Oak had gone to bed…Oak’s arrival had significantly cut into the trio’s late night adventures around town & forest). Each young gnome threw out suggestions for Usefulnesses that wouldn't be too dull or boring, and that wouldn't completely end their adventures through the woods, rivers and mountains together.
Nibble 28: Peete & Pacco Offer Suggestions
"What if you made and sold ski equipment?" Peete suggested.
"Or how about if you become a professional forest fire fighter? You'll have winters off…" Pacco asked.
Well past normal gnome bedtimes and into the next day, ideas tumbled forth from the three: Actor. Stunt gnome. Photographer. Chef. Doctor. Judge. King.
"King!?" Norre laughed. "You can't just decide to be a king!"
"Well, you just decided to be a troll father. That's GOT to be harder than becoming a king!" Pacco teased. They all laughed. Soon the sun started to set and the first stirring of Oak were heard from his sleep cubby.
Nibble 29: Gnome Bedrooms
Gnomes don't have bedrooms like humans do. They have sleeping nooks that are built-in berths which open to the great room of the gnome home. Each nook has double doors that swing closed for privacy. For Oak, however, Norre built an extra low and deep nook that allowed Oak to feel like he had his very own cave. It also helped keep the nook cooler for Oak whose body temperature varied from 100-120 degrees during the day and 140-160 during the night (trolls are very hot blooded, which may explain their pea-sized brains).
Nibble 30: Peete Has a "Brilliant" Idea
"Brew Master!!" Peete blurted out as soon as he dramatically swallowed a swig from the homebrew Norre had served him that evening (a homebrew that was absolutely terrible tasting…with this particular batch being almost impossible to stomach). "You could be a master beer brewer!” Peete exclaimed.
Pacco could barely believe his ears. Was Peete serious? Was he actually suggesting that Norre try to sell the horrible-tasting grog the two of them had endured for as long as they could remember, whenever they found themselves at Norre’s house (which, unfortunately, was almost every evening now that Oak was in the picture)?
Pacco caught Peete’s eye. Peete winked and nodded as if to say, “Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.” So Pacco went along with it. He took a swig from the beer stein he had been nursing all night and day. "It's brilliant!" he said, hoping his weak enthusiasm or hurried swallow weren’t too obvious.
Nibble 31: Peete & Pacco Offer To Help
Peete carried on, “We could help you! We could help you perfect your brew and perhaps even make different flavors – you know how Pacco and I are sometimes in the mood for something other that what you are serving – and then we could help you distribute your brews all over the territory! We'd be able to travel. You'd be able to stay home when you needed to take care of Oak. And we'd always have a lively place to hang out when the work night is over. You could open a tasting room!”
“Right, a tasting room,” Pacco thought rolling his eyes with his lids closed so Norre wouldn’t notice his sarcasm, “Just what we need, the whole town to feel ill after one serving” he thought to himself. Outloud, he proclaimed, “Brilliant idea!” for loss of anything more inventive to say.
Nibble 32: Norre, A Master Brewer???
"Master Brewer…" Norre said with an air of importance. "I sure like the sound of that…” he trailed off. “But I thought you guys didn’t even enjoy my brew concoctions. I don’t think you’ve ever had more than one stein at a time.”
“Oh, well, that’s not because we didn’t enjoy them.” Peete said slowly, hoping his brain would land on a plausible excuse in time. “We ALWAYS enjoy having a beer with you.” Which was certainly true. They enjoyed having a beer with Norre, not necessarily a beer from Norre. “And besides, you’ve never actually put much research into your concoctions. You say you just follow your gut. Why don’t we figure out how to really make beer and make it good? The Gnomes of Cashmere could use some more tasty pints to enjoy after a long evening’s work.”
Nibble 33: Norre Agrees to Some "Fine Tuning"
“Well…” Norre began slowly, mulling over the idea. “It is true, my concoctions could probably use some fine tuning.”
“Yes! Fine tuning!” Pacco blurted out, a little too quickly to be polite.
Norre looked at Pacco suspiciously. Pacco smiled weakly and repeated quietly, “Your beer just needs a little fine tuning…”
Norre held his stare for a moment then turned to Peete. “Fine tuning?” Norre asked pointedly. “Is that all my beer needs??”
“Uh…well…” Peete was at a loss for words.
Nibble 34: Peete & Pacco Get Caught In Their Fib
“You don’t like my beer!” Norre exclaimed. “You’ve been drinking my brew for decades and you don’t even like it??”
Pacco continued with his pathetic smile, only this time his eyes were looking for some forgiveness.
“I can’t believe it! My best friends…and you never even told me you didn’t like drinking my beer!” Norre was astonished.
Just then Oak toddled to his father, “Daddy, Oak drink daddy beer?”
Norre glared at his two best friends, who by this point were putting some concerted effort into holding back their laughter. “Go on, Norre, give the little guy a swig.” Peete urged.
Nibble 35: Oak Gets a Swig
Neither trolls nor gnomes have laws or rules about drinking alcoholic beverages. They also do not have the same problems humans do with consuming too much. If either species consumes a small or moderate amount, they become jolly and sometimes silly. If they consume too much, they immediately fall into a deep sleep, which is embarrassing enough that no gnome has ever been gnown to do it more than once. Trolls, on the other hand, do it all the time. Which is one of the reasons they’re so lazy and slovenly and also so dumb.
Scowling at both his friends, Norre handed his son the stein of his beer. Oak took a big gulp. And spit it right out! “Icky! Daddy! Ick! Ick! Ick!” Oak screeched and then stuck out his thick, pink tongue at Norre. The brown liquid splashed on the floor.
Oak smiled broadly at his daddy. “Daddy makes ick.”
Nibble 36: Norre Embraces The Truth
Peete and Pacco howled with laughter. Norre couldn’t help himself either. “Yes, Oak. Apparently Daddy makes ick,” Norre smiled as he gave the young troll a big bear hug. “Daddy makes ick.” All four of them laughed into the night.
Nibble 37: A Family Usefullness Is Realized
And so that's how Norre came to find his Usefulness. His friends were finally honest with him about his lack of beer brewing skills and his son turned out to have perfect taste buds for identifying quality beer. Word soon spread that Norre had finally stopped “following his gut” in brewing his beer, which made every gnome in the valley sigh with relief (especially the women folk fond of him). From that day forward, Norre had double the visitors at his house than he had had before and none would sample his many batches unless they had already been “Oak Tested and Oak Approved.” In which case, they became extremely popular and in demand.
Eventually, with his business off and running, Norre miraculously found himself ready to settle down with a wife. As did Pacco and Peete. Soon all three gnomes, and their wives too, were in the beer brewing and distributing business. Their tasting room, Troll’s Gully, eventually expanded into a restaurant, gift shop, and headquarters for the most popular beer brewed in all of the Americas.
Remember folks:
If it isn’t Oak Tested and Oak Approved,
it isn’t Troll’s Gully.
And if it isn’t Troll’s Gully,
it’s probably Ick.
Nibble 25: Norre Embraces Fatherhood
When Norre and the baby troll moved out of his parent’s comfortable, convenient home, Norre was more than a little nervous. His friends Peete and Pacco thought he was crazy and much of the Gnome Valley thought he was making a strange and difficult decision. His attractiveness to the young female gnomes of the area took a deep dive...for a while.
However, Norre never once questioned his decision to take the baby troll in as his son. Neither did his parents. His sister laughed and laughed when she heard the news, then said, “Oh.” When she found out it was actually true.
Nibble 26: The Gnome Valley Embraces Norre & His Son
Eventually, with enough time, the whole town came to accept the young father and his son the troll with the same gnome warmth and kindness they show all good creatures. In fact, after enough training, the little troll became so well behaved and learned how to care for himself in a clean and orderly manner, that he became a source of pride for the Gnome Valley (not every creature who has tried to save a baby troll from an ugly fate has had as much success as Norre and his family have). In fact, after enough time passed, that little baby troll became a bit of a chick magnet for his once-again-popular bachelor father (not that Norre needed any help in that department).
Nibble 27: Oak Becomes a Celebrity
Although the troll, who Norre named Oak, did not have a very strong intellect, through calm and patient training, and the structuring of his world with simple, routine tasks, Oak was able to contribute to society just as much as anyone else in town. In fact, he became a bit of a celebrity.
Which is how Norre finally decided on his Usefulness: As soon as he and Oak moved out of his parents home, Norre realized he had a child to care for and that he’d need to settle down and pursue his Usefulness with more purpose. Pacco and Peete were rather bummed to hear about their friend’s newfound sensibilities and they stayed up late one morning with Norre (at Norre’s house after Oak had gone to bed…Oak’s arrival had significantly cut into the trio’s late night adventures around town & forest). Each young gnome threw out suggestions for Usefulnesses that wouldn't be too dull or boring, and that wouldn't completely end their adventures through the woods, rivers and mountains together.
Nibble 28: Peete & Pacco Offer Suggestions
"What if you made and sold ski equipment?" Peete suggested.
"Or how about if you become a professional forest fire fighter? You'll have winters off…" Pacco asked.
Well past normal gnome bedtimes and into the next day, ideas tumbled forth from the three: Actor. Stunt gnome. Photographer. Chef. Doctor. Judge. King.
"King!?" Norre laughed. "You can't just decide to be a king!"
"Well, you just decided to be a troll father. That's GOT to be harder than becoming a king!" Pacco teased. They all laughed. Soon the sun started to set and the first stirring of Oak were heard from his sleep cubby.
Nibble 29: Gnome Bedrooms
Gnomes don't have bedrooms like humans do. They have sleeping nooks that are built-in berths which open to the great room of the gnome home. Each nook has double doors that swing closed for privacy. For Oak, however, Norre built an extra low and deep nook that allowed Oak to feel like he had his very own cave. It also helped keep the nook cooler for Oak whose body temperature varied from 100-120 degrees during the day and 140-160 during the night (trolls are very hot blooded, which may explain their pea-sized brains).
Nibble 30: Peete Has a "Brilliant" Idea
"Brew Master!!" Peete blurted out as soon as he dramatically swallowed a swig from the homebrew Norre had served him that evening (a homebrew that was absolutely terrible tasting…with this particular batch being almost impossible to stomach). "You could be a master beer brewer!” Peete exclaimed.
Pacco could barely believe his ears. Was Peete serious? Was he actually suggesting that Norre try to sell the horrible-tasting grog the two of them had endured for as long as they could remember, whenever they found themselves at Norre’s house (which, unfortunately, was almost every evening now that Oak was in the picture)?
Pacco caught Peete’s eye. Peete winked and nodded as if to say, “Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.” So Pacco went along with it. He took a swig from the beer stein he had been nursing all night and day. "It's brilliant!" he said, hoping his weak enthusiasm or hurried swallow weren’t too obvious.
Nibble 31: Peete & Pacco Offer To Help
Peete carried on, “We could help you! We could help you perfect your brew and perhaps even make different flavors – you know how Pacco and I are sometimes in the mood for something other that what you are serving – and then we could help you distribute your brews all over the territory! We'd be able to travel. You'd be able to stay home when you needed to take care of Oak. And we'd always have a lively place to hang out when the work night is over. You could open a tasting room!”
“Right, a tasting room,” Pacco thought rolling his eyes with his lids closed so Norre wouldn’t notice his sarcasm, “Just what we need, the whole town to feel ill after one serving” he thought to himself. Outloud, he proclaimed, “Brilliant idea!” for loss of anything more inventive to say.
Nibble 32: Norre, A Master Brewer???
"Master Brewer…" Norre said with an air of importance. "I sure like the sound of that…” he trailed off. “But I thought you guys didn’t even enjoy my brew concoctions. I don’t think you’ve ever had more than one stein at a time.”
“Oh, well, that’s not because we didn’t enjoy them.” Peete said slowly, hoping his brain would land on a plausible excuse in time. “We ALWAYS enjoy having a beer with you.” Which was certainly true. They enjoyed having a beer with Norre, not necessarily a beer from Norre. “And besides, you’ve never actually put much research into your concoctions. You say you just follow your gut. Why don’t we figure out how to really make beer and make it good? The Gnomes of Cashmere could use some more tasty pints to enjoy after a long evening’s work.”
Nibble 33: Norre Agrees to Some "Fine Tuning"
“Well…” Norre began slowly, mulling over the idea. “It is true, my concoctions could probably use some fine tuning.”
“Yes! Fine tuning!” Pacco blurted out, a little too quickly to be polite.
Norre looked at Pacco suspiciously. Pacco smiled weakly and repeated quietly, “Your beer just needs a little fine tuning…”
Norre held his stare for a moment then turned to Peete. “Fine tuning?” Norre asked pointedly. “Is that all my beer needs??”
“Uh…well…” Peete was at a loss for words.
Nibble 34: Peete & Pacco Get Caught In Their Fib
“You don’t like my beer!” Norre exclaimed. “You’ve been drinking my brew for decades and you don’t even like it??”
Pacco continued with his pathetic smile, only this time his eyes were looking for some forgiveness.
“I can’t believe it! My best friends…and you never even told me you didn’t like drinking my beer!” Norre was astonished.
Just then Oak toddled to his father, “Daddy, Oak drink daddy beer?”
Norre glared at his two best friends, who by this point were putting some concerted effort into holding back their laughter. “Go on, Norre, give the little guy a swig.” Peete urged.
Nibble 35: Oak Gets a Swig
Neither trolls nor gnomes have laws or rules about drinking alcoholic beverages. They also do not have the same problems humans do with consuming too much. If either species consumes a small or moderate amount, they become jolly and sometimes silly. If they consume too much, they immediately fall into a deep sleep, which is embarrassing enough that no gnome has ever been gnown to do it more than once. Trolls, on the other hand, do it all the time. Which is one of the reasons they’re so lazy and slovenly and also so dumb.
Scowling at both his friends, Norre handed his son the stein of his beer. Oak took a big gulp. And spit it right out! “Icky! Daddy! Ick! Ick! Ick!” Oak screeched and then stuck out his thick, pink tongue at Norre. The brown liquid splashed on the floor.
Oak smiled broadly at his daddy. “Daddy makes ick.”
Nibble 36: Norre Embraces The Truth
Peete and Pacco howled with laughter. Norre couldn’t help himself either. “Yes, Oak. Apparently Daddy makes ick,” Norre smiled as he gave the young troll a big bear hug. “Daddy makes ick.” All four of them laughed into the night.
Nibble 37: A Family Usefullness Is Realized
And so that's how Norre came to find his Usefulness. His friends were finally honest with him about his lack of beer brewing skills and his son turned out to have perfect taste buds for identifying quality beer. Word soon spread that Norre had finally stopped “following his gut” in brewing his beer, which made every gnome in the valley sigh with relief (especially the women folk fond of him). From that day forward, Norre had double the visitors at his house than he had had before and none would sample his many batches unless they had already been “Oak Tested and Oak Approved.” In which case, they became extremely popular and in demand.
Eventually, with his business off and running, Norre miraculously found himself ready to settle down with a wife. As did Pacco and Peete. Soon all three gnomes, and their wives too, were in the beer brewing and distributing business. Their tasting room, Troll’s Gully, eventually expanded into a restaurant, gift shop, and headquarters for the most popular beer brewed in all of the Americas.
Remember folks:
If it isn’t Oak Tested and Oak Approved,
it isn’t Troll’s Gully.
And if it isn’t Troll’s Gully,
it’s probably Ick.