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    • The Magical Vault of Everything >
      • The Magical Vault: The Full Story
      • Kidnapping at Gnome Valley Bank
    • Safely Deposit Box Vault
    • Troll's Gully >
      • Troll's Gully: The Full Story
    • Neva Zella Whipple Fairhair, IX >
      • Neva Zella: According to Her Sister, Delores
    • Gnome Valley Soda Fountain >
      • Gnome Fountain: The Full Story
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      • Gnome Hardware: The Full Story
    • Gnome Riverside Music Center
    • Gnome Country Store >
      • Gnome Country Store: The Full Story
  • More Stories
    • Alfred's Chipmunk Cafe
    • Royal Gnome Cellars
    • Tiny's Tiny IGGA
    • Gnome Transit Station
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    • Summary of all door stories
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   THE FULL STORY OF . . .

The Magical Vault      
  of Everything

Serving all honest creatures since 1856 

at
Gnome Valley Bank

Picture
Nibble 1:  Torgen and Thelma Jensson start a Bank
     Torgen Jensson and his family founded Gnome Valley Bank in 1856, just a few years before Father Respari, the human Catholic Missionary, arrived at N’tuatckom in the early 1860s.  N’tuatckom, which means The Marsh Land, is what the Native Americans called the present day Cashmere, Washington.

     Torgen and his wife, Thelma, started the bank after realizing they, along with all the other gnomes of the valley, had little need for the currency, coins, money and valuables they had slowly stockpiled over the years...which for gnomes...is quite a long time.  In 1856, Torgen and Thelma's lives had stretched a mere 120 years.  They were young adult gnomes and very keen on finding their Usefulness. 
  Nibble 2:  Honeymoon in Gnome Valley USA
   At the time that Torgen and Thelma had their idea to open Gnome Valley Bank, the Valley was home to approximately 50 gnomes.  The first gnome settlers were a group of three honeymooning couples.     
      How old are gnomes?    
     A gnome life is very long.  A gnome of 100-150 years is considered young, probably the equivalent of a human 20 to 30 years old.  Gnomes live for a minimum of 350 years, while most live for 375 and a rare few have reached the ripe old age of 400 (though 400 years is extremely rare and, for most gnomes, rather undesirable).  
    Gnomes, like humans, enjoy a honeymoon trip immediate following their all-consuming wedding ceremonies.  Unlike humans, however, a gnome honeymoon lasts for at least 20 years and almost always result in a gnome having a solid understanding of what they will do for their Usefullness in life.  
 Nibble 3:  Parallels & Pigeons
       Included in that first settlers group were Torgen's parents (Lars and Lena Jensson), Thelma's parents (Thorn and Meta Hansen), and their good friends, Petter and Tea Karlsen.  The Jensson, Hansen and Karlsen honeymoon party had been traveling from their native Norway, via pigeon, fox, boat, boar,  
       What's a "Usefulness?"   
      A gnome's Usefulness is important.  It is the focus into which a gnome pours his or her passion, care, skills and energy to make the world a better place.  All gnomes must find their Usefulness in order to live a meaningful life.  While many gnomes find one grand Usefulness, others find several over the course of their lives. Gnomes gnow that no one Usefulness is more important than another.  
donkey, eagle and cougar, enjoying the sights and sounds of locations along the 47.5N parellel, which was their chosen honeymoon route.  At that time, it was in gnome vogue to have a honeymoon adventure that followed a particular parallel around the globe.     To travel long distances, gnomes always travel by animal.  Animals are happy to escort gnomes to wherever they need to go because gnomes are constantly assisting animals however they can, all over the earth.  When not traveling by animal, gnomes most commonly travel by foot or sled.  They also enjoy traveling by ski, skate, boat or raft (and in heavily forested areas, by jumping from tree to tree).

 
 Nibble 4:  The King Agrees
    The honeymoon party had originally planned to stay in the Cashmere valley a decade or so.  However, they so enjoyed it – finding the air possessing the sweetest of scents and the waters the clearest of clears – that they petitioned the king to let them stay.  The king readily agreed.  He had the foresight to know that disbursing helpful gnomes throughout the world would be a good thing.  He was quickly realizing that the fast growing and rather impatient, but also extremely energetic and bright, population of humans seemed to be in need of some calm and sensible gnome guidance.  The Jensson, Hansen and Karlsen party set up their homes in the valley and became the founding Gnomes of Cashmere.

     As you might have already discerned, the Gnomes of Cashmere are of Scandinavian decent.  They are from the gnomedom (gnome kingdom) that covers the present-day Sweden, Norway, Denmark and Finland.  Gnomes heavily populate Europe and North America, but they also exist in over 60 countries throughout the world.  It is not clear how many gnomedoms there are, but it is clear that none have ever clashed with another and gnomes themselves have never engaged in territorial disputes, war or brutality.

Nibble 5:  Success!  What to do, what to do?!
    By 1856, the 50 Gnomes of Cashmere, much like their human counterparts of the area, had enjoyed several generations of success.  Their success was due partly to their industrious, generous natures and also in part to the natural abundance that surrounded them.  As a result, they were finding themselves in a bit of a dilemma.  They were starting to stockpile money. 

     It's upon that principle that Torgen and Thelma founded Gnome Valley Bank in 1856.  They built it (or more accurately, dug it) so that gnomes who had more goods than they could use had a place to exchange those goods with creatures that needed them.  As word spread throughout the gnome world about Gnome Valley Bank and its miraculous vault, the vault soon became gnown as The Magical Vault of Everything.

 Nibble 6:  Sacred, Trusted & A Miracle of Organization
    Behind the walls of The Magical Vault of Everything is a miracle of organization.  Miles and miles of tunnels deep below the Cascade Mountains are lined with goods and valuables that gnomes are making available for any creature that can put them to good use.  

     Gnome Valley Bank and its Magical Vault of Everything is a sacred place.  It is built on trust, respect and privacy.  The gnomes who entrust their valuables to the vault will never know which creatures eventually received what they provided.  
But they have the confidence of gnowing that their earnings will get to the right place.  
 Nibble 7:  Safe from Trolls   Because gnomes have responsibly stored their valuables in the Magical Vault of Everything, their valuables will be forever safe from trolls...who would just steal their things, then sit on them, laughing, farting and eventually ruining them.  
     They also have the
What are those letters BPOGECO???
      On the green alarms above the vault door are the letters "BPOGECO."  They stand for Benevolent Protective Order of Gnomes and Elks Company.  The BPOGE Co. is a security company that provides advanced, telepathy based security to gnome homes and businesses.
  
confidence of gnowing that many, many good, responsible creatures will be able to enter this vault and find just the resources they need to pass the goodness forward, by using what they receive to provide their own Usefulness to other creatures...in fair exchange.

 
 Nibble 8:  The Family Business Continues
     Even today in 2014, Torgen and Thelma continue to manage Gnome Valley Bank and it's important Magical Vault of Everything.  Torgen and Thelma are both well past middle age now - each being 278 years old.  Their children, Milly and Teodor, are approaching adulthood – both 110 years old (gnomes are always born as twins..or in a rare instance, triplets) and they help their parents in the family Usefulness.  

     Thelma is the mastermind behind keeping the vault organized, while Teodor keeps it well maintained, safe and clean.  Milly helps her dad work long hours getting the word out - telling other gnomes and creatures what they have inside the vault so that if a responsible and honest gnome or creature (which is 99.99999921% of all gnomes, 97.54632578% of all fairies, 96.88888763% of all pixies, 82.375645678% all elves and 0.00000003% of all trolls.  Gnomes haven't calculated the responsibility-honesty quotient of humans yet.  They're waiting.  Humans are too new a species to get an accurate count and the general gnome consensus is that humans have some additional maturing to do) needs something, he or she will know exactly where to come to find it:  
The Magical Vault of Everything
               Gnome Valley Bank
          Serving all honest creatures 
                     since 1856

We Would Love to Have You Visit Soon, The Gnomes Love Making New Friends


Reach out and contact a gnome or one of their representatives today. 

info@cashmerechamber.org